My definition of love used to be this:
Love meant giving everything. Losing yourself completely and willingly. Love was sacrifice.
If you die, we die together.
Love was a fairy-tale where nothing else mattered as long as we kept the flame alive.
Love meant compromise of self—
letting go of all other connections, pouring everything into just one.
Love was never calm, never stable. It was lightning, fire, and chaos. Unpredictable, volatile, burning so brightly that being scorched every now and then felt inevitable.
Love meant being so entwined that I couldn’t see where I ended, and you began.
If you fell off a cliff, I’d leap after you—
because anything less wasn’t love enough.
Love was intense and uncontrollable, a surge of feelings and fire. An unstoppable force submerging me in its embrace as if I had no choice but to drown in its waves.
Love meant two people drowning together, even when one was pushing the other down just to stay afloat.
But today, my definition of love has changed.
Love is warm, steady, a slow burn. It’s holding hands, but not giving up your life. Love is championing someone’s passions while they champion yours.
It’s giving without losing yourself in the process. Love is respect, balance, and boundaries. It’s having difficult conversations with someone you’re willing to do the work with.
Love is acceptance—of yourself and your partner.
It’s honesty, vulnerability, kindness—without judgement.
Love is staying when the fun fades, when the dishes pile up, and you’re both exhausted, too tired to speak.
Love is being apart but trusting completely. Love means continuing your own growth and cheering your partner on as they do the same.
Love is calm, resilient, but not without effort.
Love is putting on your own life jacket, and then offering to help with theirs.
Amy Roullier
Amy Roullier is a British writer and author of Silent Reflections of a Fragile Heart. For her, writing began as personal therapy and has evolved into a way to connect with others, posing questions and offering reflections that might help readers find clarity. Based in Lincolnshire, Amy is an occasional vegetarian and a dedicated lover of carbs—her true soulmate. She’s currently navigating a mid-life crisis through running, and mornings are simply impossible without coffee.
