Amy Roullier is a British writer and author of Silent Reflections of a Fragile Heart. Through her blog, she challenges the negative stereotypes surrounding being single, while candidly sharing her experiences with mental health, personal losses, and the complex, often misunderstood realities of adulthood.
I’ve come to learn that being alone is powerfully compelling, once you’ve reframed alone time as not something that has happened to you, but as a time to make things happen for you. And there is an unexpected beauty in being alone, especially in public. I used to see alone time as an an involuntary circumstance forced upon me. A sign that I wasn’t wanted. Uncomfortable and lonely. That’s what …
It wasn’t until I went single no mingle, that I realized how much dating had become an important part of my conversations with people. And by making who I was dating a highly discussed topic, I had inadvertently sent the message to myself that nothing else was more conversation worthy than this.
And if nothing else was as interesting, then nothing I had to say that wasn’t about when or who the next date was lined up with, mattered much.
I used to see single as a situation to survive. It’s taken me years to get to a point of being able to say, ‘I love being single,’ and really mean it.
It’s not been easy to trek for sure. However, it has been a lifechanging one. Which all started the moment I began to look at single as something other than a status I needed to do everything in my power, to change. I embraced being single, and in doing so worked my towards thrive rather than survive.
You wake early to sunlight seeping through the window,birds chirping softly outside.No rush, just peace in this quiet moment,as you slowly unfurl yourself from the duvet,taking your time. Scrambled eggs and coffee sound perfect,so you make both, just the way you like.It’s a blue-sky morning, and you take your breakfast outside,soaking in the calm and warmth. Inside, you feel at peace. The day ahead is yours to shape as you …
After a two year hiatus from overseas travel – cheers Covid – last March I went to the iconic city of Paris. A place known for its great wine, even better cheese, bohemian ambience, historic monuments. And also, the home of the Mona Lisa. It’s top of the list for most to complete any visit to Paris with a trip to the Louvre museum. And what a sight it was …
I used to see myself as all my shortcomings. The inadequacies were all I focused on. I held my many flaws against myself and saw imperfection when I turned within. We’re taught that we should be perfect. Our minds, bodies, lifestyle, everything about us should be top notch or as a minimum, aspiring to be. We should have an incredible body, be married to someone insanely awesome person, raise two …
Rewind back to 2016, when I was 31, going through a divorce, and newly single. I didn’t plan to be single in my 30s of course, but there it was. Singledom. Suddenly feeling so much more irreversible than it had in my teens or 20s. Would I be single forever? Who knew. But what I did learn, is that a lot of people don’t understand being single at all and …
Being honest, I only started considering the idea of dating myself after a long string of dating failures and bad relationships. I’d become accustomed to these repeated cycles and it sucked, big time. But generally, I’ve been much better at seeking out highs from other people, than I have been at making myself happy. However, that was something I needed to change. Because like any relationship, I began to realize …
I’ve spent the past year concentrating on self-care. Setting boundaries, making decisions that are healthy and not harmful, practicing a little self-love and meaningful mindfulness. I’ve been reclaiming (and establishing) a strong self-concept. However, the return of the Ex always feel like the ultimate test to that kind of inner soul work. They seem to pop up out of nowhere when you least expect with a nonchalant, “Hey, how are …
For the last ten months I’ve been working on some serious (-ly lacking) boundaries, prioritizing self-care and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Part of that journey has involved getting really comfortable spending some alone with myself. So far I’ve tackled solo cinema outings, unaccompanied gigs, coffee and dinners by myself, solitary UK weekends away, and a whole heap of unaccompanied adventures and events. But I hadn’t yet tackled …
