Amy Roullier is a British writer and author of Silent Reflections of a Fragile Heart. Through her blog, she challenges the negative stereotypes surrounding being single, while candidly sharing her experiences with mental health, personal losses, and the complex, often misunderstood realities of adulthood.
I spent nearly seven years of my thirties navigating an on-again, off-again relationship with being single. For much of that time, I convinced myself that my singleness was a choice — someone else’s, not my own. It felt like a burden I couldn’t shake, no matter how hard I tried. I began to ask myself: where was I going wrong? In trying to figure it out, I realized that perhaps …
I’ve spent so much time waiting on others, not signing up to experiences or exploring the world. Waiting on friends and family to have time, waiting on the next boyfriend to appear and be ready for an adventure or do a thing. It never occurred to me that I could, or in fact sometimes should, go for it anyway. As a single person in her thirties, I realised that if …
Do We Have a Responsibility to Worry About Someone Else’s Singleness? I think not, and here’s why. In my day-to-day job, I attend a lot of conferences. There’s networking, nice chit chats with work colleagues across the industry, and a lot of intro conversations. Which all go something like this: “Hi, What’s your name and where are you from?” Usually followed closely with: “Are you married. Dating? Oh, just Single …
I wasn’t aware that I had such a deep rooted disagreeableness with being single until about four years ago. Aged thirty six, fresh out of yet another short lasting relationship and back into my seemingly inescapable interconnection with being single, the overwhelming disappointment of being single again hit me hard. Wasn’t I supposed to be with someone by now? Who’d have thought nearly six years after my divorce that I’d still …
No-one seemed to mind as much when I was single at sixteen, eighteen or twenty one. However, single at thirty five, something changes. Single stigma seems to heighten with age. Because there is something about being single, especially once you reach your thirties and beyond, that suggests that you are now actively going against the grain. You are also now still single. Rather than just simply, single. And you should …
All in all, it’s fair to say that society can be fixated on conventional accomplishments and mainstream milestones, ones often intertwined with some aspect of partnership. Milestones like weddings, moving in with a partner, getting engaged, starting a family or beginning a new relationship. Whilst all of this is lovely, it does mean that other accomplishments, ones achieved whilst single, ones no less deserving of some celebration, frequently fall under …
Why am I still single?’ I’ve lost count of the times I’ve asked myself this question. Often accompanied with the following, ‘Am I not a nice person, not deserving of love? Have I not endured and suffered enough frogs? Am I too bossy? Too confident? Should I be less opinionated? Is it the way I look? Where I live? Am I not pretty enough? Perhaps I should be more amenable? …
It wasn’t until I went single no mingle, that I realized how much dating had become an important part of my conversations with people. And by making who I was dating a highly discussed topic, I had inadvertently sent the message to myself that nothing else was more conversation worthy than this.
And if nothing else was as interesting, then nothing I had to say that wasn’t about when or who the next date was lined up with, mattered much.
You wake early to sunlight seeping through the window,birds chirping softly outside.No rush, just peace in this quiet moment,as you slowly unfurl yourself from the duvet,taking your time. Scrambled eggs and coffee sound perfect,so you make both, just the way you like.It’s a blue-sky morning, and you take your breakfast outside,soaking in the calm and warmth. Inside, you feel at peace. The day ahead is yours to shape as you …
Being honest, I only started considering the idea of dating myself after a long string of dating failures and bad relationships. I’d become accustomed to these repeated cycles and it sucked, big time. But generally, I’ve been much better at seeking out highs from other people, than I have been at making myself happy. However, that was something I needed to change. Because like any relationship, I began to realize …
